Tuesday, December 29, 2009 , trying to mend a broken heart
Oh.. So he likes this girl name Su Ting, it's my meii's meii ._." Xuan's meii haha~ his PM in msn wrote "I kept miss you... Su ting.." then Jun said he knows her and helped me ask her.. he said Su Ting likes him too hahhahahahaha~ Nevermind lah, trying to mend a broken heart XP So far I've not liked anyone.. or maybe.. almost like my maple ex's friend, Ekaii but luckily no .__." because I know he wouldn't like me XD and we'll be in a long distance relationship and can't meet. I don't think he wants that, and so do I. :) I don't know what to do, I'm not sad. I'm just heartbroken, that's all :) I don't wanna think about it, but my friggin metal headed mind keeps thinking about it.. I bet they're together already.. Now I keep seeing Marcus Available instead of Busy or Away like he was when he was with miie. -sigh- comments (0)
*slaps myself* STOP IT, KAT! YOU'RE INSANE! HE'S NOT YOUR NEW HEROIN, HE'S A ROTTEN ONE. Stop thinking about him. You said you don't care. Why are you caring right now? You're just being pathetic here, Kat. Move on. He doesn't effing need you anymore. All he needs right now is Su Ting. Yes, she may not be as pretty as Xuan and you don't know what he sees in her, but it's a fact. He's gone. He doesn't have you in his heart anymore. Be strong, Kat.. As what your friends, especially Benjamin kor told you. Be strong. Don't get stepped on by him. Prove to him that he regrets for losing you. You're better than that. I can see. I may not see brightness right now, but darkness, but I know you, Kat. I'm your alter ego. The silent one. You will shine one day. You can find a better person in life, Kat. He might give you the sweetest memories in your relationship, but trust me. I've seen sweeter ones and they're more romantic than yours. Since other girls can move on and live happily, why can't you? Don't drag me into hell with you, Kat. You think this break up is heartbroken? I've seen worse ones. Come on, Kat. It's not like you've had sex with him or something. MOVE ON. Stop thinking of him. He's not worth your tears. Eat, Kat. Don't go on a "special diet" because of him. You've lost 7KG already. Stop it. It's hurting. Don't let me out and control you, Kat. You know how insensitive I am. You don't want other friends to hate you because of me overpowering you.
I can't. I just can't. WHY!! Yes, alter ego. He gave me sweet memories, but they're the best ones so far. I just can't forget him!! I thought I was strong. When his friends mocked me and scolded me in front of him, I had no feelings. I even told hiim that I don't like him anymore and he's free. I thought I was finally over him. But then, the next day? "I kept missing you.. su ting" was his PM, and my heart just.. broke and shattered into pieces. And I still love him with those broken pieces of my heart. This song kinda express my feelings right now :Rihanna ft. Neyo - Hate that I Love You
Yeaah
heyy heyy
That's how much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah yeah yeah)
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile?
And then I like you for a while
No...
But you won't let me
You upset me girl and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it
You know exactly what to do so that I can't stay mad at you for too long
That's wrong but I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ohh)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (ooh)
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact that I...
Love you beyond a reason why (whyyy)
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah yeah)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss will make me weak
But no one in this world
Knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
yeahhhhh ohhhh ohhh
oh yeah
It's how much I love you
It's how nuch I need you
It's how much I love you (ohh)
It's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you
Sooooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you soo
And I hate that I love you soo sooo
Saturday, December 19, 2009 , AM BORED!
I'm trying to forget hiim but he just can't seem to get out of my mind! So stubborn, huh? There's a boy I just met, and he kind of fell for me. Seriously. O_O" At first, he said he's gonna help me get hiim back, but then instead, he fell for me. How ironic can this be? But then I told him, "Well, if you CAN help me to put down hiim, I might consider you ;)"comments (0)
He got so darn excited, he went hysterical. "OKAY!! I'LL TRY MY BEST!!!! :D" was all he said. Hyper, isn't he? XP Until now, I seem to can't forget hiim, even thought I'm not thinking of him. =/ Why is it so hard to forget hiim? Was it because of the sweet memories we had together? The dates? The kisses? The hugs? The warmth? I don't know.
He's been ignoring me for a week. Well, not really IGNORING. Just. Not talking. =/
He said he's happier if we were god-sister and god-brother, but our relationship isn't even going anywhere at all. It just hangs there. Ugh. He's always away or busy as soon as he's online, but even if he's Available, he wouldn't bother to talk to me. ): How saddening can this be? -sigh- Stop it, Kat. Don't think about it. Everything's gonna be alright. (: Think about the future, not the PAST. New things won't come, if you don't remove old things. XP- I will always miss you even though we're not together-
Sunday, December 13, 2009 , haiz~ Sad day.
We broke up.. we chatted.. and he can't stand my over thoughts and he made up his mind that we stay as di and jie better cos we were happier when we were di and jie~ I didn't cry at all, because I cried already that night when I had a nightmare that he broke up with me and that we should stay as jie and di.. Now, I want to be a tough girl and I'm going to win his heart back..comments (0)
Mars, just you wait. I'll let you see that I've changed and I'll win your heart for sure. Believe me, I'll try my best. =)
Friday, December 04, 2009 , another love in the air?
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This morning I woke up at around 9.ooAM, and when I came out of the room, I saw the hanging line on the stairs. My mum was furious about my maid, being "smart" and cleaning the maid's/study room when it's supposed to be tomorrow. I was really nervous, as usual, because I am going to see hiim again. I wore our first date as god-bro n sis's shirt and the first date as couples' skirt. It was the brown shit and the green skirt lol. Then, as usual, SPORTS SHOES. XD
My hair was really, really, REALLY, terrible today. =.=" When I reached there(about 1.45PM), I sms-ed hiim and left the car. I was about to go to Best Eastern when I saw Waree`ah, my ex-best friend, now my good friend, and her sister. She was like, "kat~ *winks*". I saw her and almost went traumatized, "WARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! *hugged her*" and she asked, "what are you doing here lol?". I answered, "lol meeting my boyfiie XD" I asked her if she has a phone with her but she said no. So I asked, "War, can you stay with me for a while? Because I don't know what time my boyfiie comes." She agreed and told her parents that she's out with me. When I entered Best Eastern, I saw my friend, Amal. "Hey, mal why do I always see you here?" I asked. "LOL. I WORK HERE," she said, in a shocking voice. XD I was shocked too and I asked her too if she has a phone. She asked why and I answered that I want to sms my boyfiie. As I was about to click 'send', he appeared by the door in Best Eastern. I told Amal, "nevermind, he's here. :D" He looked at me, and I just said bye to them without introducing them. How mean I am. Well, not my fault I was so eager to go 'paktor' with hiim XD He asked me, "So, where are we going?" and I answered that I don't know. We walked and walked up the escalator to the third floor and he said, "Alex's here :D" and I was like, "wtf? you really asked him to come?" He said, " no ah, he asked me this morning XD" so we looked for him loh in the Arcade while holding hands, when we reached there and we saw Alex, he let go of my hand. They both played the basketball together and my boyfiie throw too high, but still scores. XD Then, when his other friend appeared, zhong xiang, he mentioned, asked him, "your gf ka?" den he said, "hmmmm.....dunno XD" After that, zhong xiang asked me if Christmas Carol was good, and I said no XD. Then my boyfiie asked again, "no meh?" and I said, "er... okok lu.. XD" Then zhong xiang and Alex said to boyfiie, "wuu, to us say no, to u say okok XD" Then I smiled guiltily XD hahahaha~ then Alex, Zhong xiang walk in different path, so left us lu.. then, duh we go paktor in the hotel there. :D He bring me go see swimming pool on the fourth floor XD then go lift hug lai hug chi~ We went back to the third floor throught the left and go find Alex again. And of course, we walked in separate ways and we go hotel again LOL. Then paktor there.. that's when our first kiss... was held. <3
He hold both of my shoulders and turned my body so that I faced him. He leaned down and kissed ME. HE. KISSED. ME. <333333333333 I smile so broad, that I feel like as if I can smile broader. I flushed so badly too, so was he. XD Then we were so lovey dovey, hugging each other, touching each other (not the yellow way, jz like touching hands, hair, etc) and others <3 I feel like I'm the happiest girl on earth. We chatted random things loh - about his friends, my friends, his family, my family, others~ Around 3.30PM, we have to go to NBK CyberCafe (the boys call it NaBehKia CyberCafe LOL) as Alex has been sms-ing boyfiie to go NBK look for him lol for the past 30mins. XD We went there and there were alot of boyfiie's friends @__@" We took the 3 computers at the corner of the cybercafe. I didn't know what to do as I don't want to play DotA with them (PvP leh, sure tio GG) cos Alex asked. Well, boyfiie said I can go Facebook if I wanted to lols. He keeps rubbing my head as if I'm his puppy XD Then it was 4.50PM, and he lost in the PvP DotA with his friends lol. So, he left with me back to the Mall. Then, he asked again, "where are we going oh?" I said, "somewhere to hug you before I go <3." Then, he randomly bring me to the lift when we went to the 1st floor and 2nd floor of the hotel to find a private place to hug and... hhehhehehe kiss him.. XD We failed to find any as we're running our of time so he escorted me to the lift on the other corner of the mall. Then, before the lift open its doors, I was dying to hug him so I opened my arms and gave him a puppy dog face. He said, "wait first." When we were in the lift, he hugged me by hugging my waist XD. I was like "omg so hard to hug him" and I had to hug him by wrapping my arms around his neck. He had to bend down as it was hard to hug him. XD and he said, "hao xing gu orh.." Then, he kissed me again. HE.KISSED.ME.AGAIN. <3 I was stunned but very hyper and excited. I wanted to say I love him, but those words couldn't come out as I was still stunned about the kiss. I could feel his saliva on my lips and I licked them. @__@" Then I went home lurhs, I miss him alot and I love him alot. I got so excited, I went out and have a good roller blading before I went home and pack.
LOL that's what I wore when I went out with boyfiie <3
