Oh.. So he likes this girl name Su Ting, it's my meii's meii ._." Xuan's meii haha~ his PM in msn wrote "I kept miss you... Su ting.." then Jun said he knows her and helped me ask her.. he said Su Ting likes him too hahhahahahaha~ Nevermind lah, trying to mend a broken heart XP So far I've not liked anyone.. or maybe.. almost like my maple ex's friend, Ekaii but luckily no .__." because I know he wouldn't like me XD and we'll be in a long distance relationship and can't meet. I don't think he wants that, and so do I. :) I don't know what to do, I'm not sad. I'm just heartbroken, that's all :) I don't wanna think about it, but my friggin metal headed mind keeps thinking about it.. I bet they're together already.. Now I keep seeing Marcus Available instead of Busy or Away like he was when he was with miie. -sigh-
*slaps myself* STOP IT, KAT! YOU'RE INSANE! HE'S NOT YOUR NEW HEROIN, HE'S A ROTTEN ONE. Stop thinking about him. You said you don't care. Why are you caring right now? You're just being pathetic here, Kat. Move on. He doesn't effing need you anymore. All he needs right now is Su Ting. Yes, she may not be as pretty as Xuan and you don't know what he sees in her, but it's a fact. He's gone. He doesn't have you in his heart anymore. Be strong, Kat.. As what your friends, especially Benjamin kor told you. Be strong. Don't get stepped on by him. Prove to him that he regrets for losing you. You're better than that. I can see. I may not see brightness right now, but darkness, but I know you, Kat. I'm your alter ego. The silent one. You will shine one day. You can find a better person in life, Kat. He might give you the sweetest memories in your relationship, but trust me. I've seen sweeter ones and they're more romantic than yours. Since other girls can move on and live happily, why can't you? Don't drag me into hell with you, Kat. You think this break up is heartbroken? I've seen worse ones. Come on, Kat. It's not like you've had sex with him or something. MOVE ON. Stop thinking of him. He's not worth your tears. Eat, Kat. Don't go on a "special diet" because of him. You've lost 7KG already. Stop it. It's hurting. Don't let me out and control you, Kat. You know how insensitive I am. You don't want other friends to hate you because of me overpowering you.
I can't. I just can't. WHY!! Yes, alter ego. He gave me sweet memories, but they're the best ones so far. I just can't forget him!! I thought I was strong. When his friends mocked me and scolded me in front of him, I had no feelings. I even told hiim that I don't like him anymore and he's free. I thought I was finally over him. But then, the next day? "I kept missing you.. su ting" was his PM, and my heart just.. broke and shattered into pieces. And I still love him with those broken pieces of my heart. This song kinda express my feelings right now :
Rihanna ft. Neyo - Hate that I Love You
Yeaah
heyy heyy
That's how much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah yeah yeah)
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile?
And then I like you for a while
No...
But you won't let me
You upset me girl and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it
You know exactly what to do so that I can't stay mad at you for too long
That's wrong but I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ohh)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (ooh)
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact that I...
Love you beyond a reason why (whyyy)
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah yeah)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss will make me weak
But no one in this world
Knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
yeahhhhh ohhhh ohhh
oh yeah
It's how much I love you
It's how nuch I need you
It's how much I love you (ohh)
It's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you
Sooooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you soo
And I hate that I love you soo sooo
can you love me? 12:36:00 AM
